I'm looking for someone who can assist me in raising attractive women from the dead. there is some night digging involved and you'll need a good pair of "Gore-tex" boots. Also bring a good shovel, if you have one. if not, i can provide one. Basically, we're looking for attractive women who have been dead for 4 days or less. After 4 days, they start to smell awful and they take on a ghostly appearance, and quite frankly, they look and smell ghastly. Also, after 4 days, bloat up and it makes the resurrection more difficult. Bring your own weapons. Safety is not guarenteed. i've only done this once before. you'll get paid after we get back.

"The bible teaches that Jesus could raise someone from the dead (dead for 4 days) right in front of you and you still would not believe! Why = you are "dead in sins and trespasses" and "blinded." Jesus raised people from the dead and some people still refused to believe. As for lost limbs, he made them re-grow and more - and the lost sheep believed and the goats refused to."

Mocking the faith of 2 billion people - or even one person - is just not nice, but it is what we have come to expect.

The first person that needs to be raised from the dead is you my friend! It has happend to people far more proud and stubborn! LOL!

Might even be you some day - you would just be one more of millions like you that God has turned!

As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, 2 in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient. 3 All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our flesha]"[a] and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature deserving of wrath. 4

But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, 5 made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. 6 And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, 7 in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. 8 For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— 9 not by works, so that no one can boast.

Mr. William, I apologize if i've offended you or your resurrection plans. It's not my intention to mock anyone's "transgressions" or "cravings for flesh." You're speaking in a language that is hard for me to comprehend. Still, you're right, i need raised from the dead. i've tried Viagra and Cialis and neither were effective in raising neither me or members of me from the dead. i guess it's one of the consequences of growing old. anyway, i'm still looking for someone with a good back who can help me dig up dead people whom have only been dead for 4 days or less. i pay fairly, and there will be more than a few coffee breaks throughout the night. digging will start at around 12 midnight and hopefully we can wrap things up before the sun comes up. bring garlic and a wooden stake just in case we unearth the wrong type of woman.

Frank: "It is appointed (by God) to man (you Frank) once to die, and after that THE JUDGMENT!" At that time "EVERY KNEE SHALL BOW and EVERY TONGUE CONFESS (including yours Frank) that JESUS CHRIST IS LORD!" Every thing you say and wrote now will come back and you will live with your mockery throughout all of the eternal suffering that will be your portion. Deep down, you know God's Word is true. One point you cannot argue with is "It is appointed (by God) to man (you Frank) once to die". Will that be today Frank? How many more days has God allowed you? Do you know? Can you keep yourself alive for one split second past God's APPOINTED time that He has set just for you? For those who sincerely are seeking God join us at North Coast Community Church meeting in Sosua every Sunday at 10 AM.

Jeez, I feel sorry for you Frank. You are well f###ed. "you will live with your mockery throughout all of the eternal suffering that will be your portion." - when you die I guess?
Glad I'm not you :-(
Let us know if you live past the anointed time for your exit from this world.

Haha, Thanks Dave. i'm checking my calender now. i don't have time to fit into my "Anointed time" for my "Exit into the Next World" anytime this month. I'm also busy for the month of December. However, after the New Year i'm free. I may try and make an appointment sometime next year but, to be honest, i'm having trouble reaching the receptionsit for god. Can anyone here get me a direct line to him or her.

i don't have time to fit into my "Anointed time" for my "Exit into the Next World" anytime this month. (Frank) Hmmm...God will decide that - not you - in factGod has already decided the day when you will appear before Him to give an accout....

"in factGod has already decided the day when you will appear before Him to give an account...."

Could you do me a big favor and find out when exactly my date is for my "Anointed time and exit into the next world" is going to heppen? I have a lot to take care of before that date. i got bank CD's to cash in, i got a hair appoointments, i got doctor appointments, i got to draw up a will for my scooters and nick-knacks that i want to leave to my friends, i've got a vacuum cleaner that's been in for reapir for 6 months now in Santiago and i don't want to leave it there, i got a girlfriend and seven year old that i need to make sure does her homework; i got a million things to do and perhaps very little time to do it! SO, it would be much appreciated if you could find the time to pass on that "Date" to me for my "Exit". In fact, i'll buy you a beer if you could narrow down the time and place as well. i'd like to get my hair done and have some fresh, clean underwear on before the "Rapture" arrives and takes me up for my "Account" that i'll be giving to St. Peter and god. I'd also like to get my shoes , have a manicure (I've never had one) and be in respectable presentation for my interview with god.

Thanks very much, and the sooner you can get back to me with that date, the more beers i will pass down your way!

Sincerely, Frank

Your list is typical of the 236,000 people who die today and everyday. MOst are not ready and do not get any advance warning. Here today, gone tomorrow! Cheers!

ZZZZZZ...still waiting on that date for my rapture? is it going to be coming along anytime before Thanksgiving? I have a turkey defrosting right now. i need to know if i should make stuffing for it or put it back in the freezer? I also want to be presentable for my "Exit" interview.

Chop, Chop...get back to me as soon as you hear anything!

Love Frank

It is on a need to know basis - and God has determined you do not need to know! Keeps you on your toes! But we all know the date is set and it is inevitable - I truly hope it is 100 years from now as I would sure miss you! :)

There are special clinics here in the DR for mentally disturbed people like you Frankenshiner. Speak with your local doctor for referral

I think a local doctor would most likely give him a prescription for 10 different drugs and send him on his way to the local farmacia. Mind you, taking the 10 drugs might hasten the day of exit ;-)

Haha,

Thanks Marnie. Yeah, after thnking about it, you're right...i need help! No, wait, on second thought, i don't know what is worse in this world...being forced to listen to someone like Williamo, who lacking in any real objective opinion on life--quotes endlessly, invariably, and relentlessly from the bible, or someone like myself--in obvious need of "medication," but relying on a sense of humor to get thru the day.

Thanks, Frank

what a load of rubbish if there was no such thing as religion in the world THEN MAYBE WE COULD ALL LIVE TOGETHER IN PEACE

Amen Mags! Amen!

Now, listen, if i could only find someone on the North Coast to help me dig up attractive dead women, my search for a good woman out there would be over! I guess people on the North Coast go to bed early? Oh well..such is life. Still, i'm not ready to give up so easy. i have my garlic ready, wooden stake, cloves, shovel, gore-tex boots, one gallon coffee mug (it could take all night to find the right woman), crucifix, and peanut butter sandwiches. Oh, yeah, i almost forgot, i've got weapons at the ready as well (but you should bring your own)... just in case the wooden stake and garlic doesn't work. now look, i'm only looking for a few good people out there willing to work thru the night. There will be plenty of coffee breaks.

Frank

what a load of rubbish if there was no such thing as religion in the world THEN MAYBE WE COULD ALL LIVE TOGETHER IN PEACE (MAGS) If there were no religion, HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS ( a low estimate) would today and tonight be hungry, no drinking water, no clothes, no where to stay, no education, no medical clinics etc. etc. All of the above an more provided EVERYDAY by the Christian religious people you despise...shall I take you to a dozen villages where kidsa re being fed right here in the DR? Your type MAGS, always whining about religious people, leave those poor people living in POVERTY not PEACE! Thank God ( and those religious people) that they do not need to rely on you.